"I always justified what I was doing by saying at least I'm not doing meth or heroin." [...] "I went to New Vision™, then to rehab again and actually took it serious this time and worked on myself.
I smoked weed, and always said I'll never move on to any harder drugs. That's where I started to climb the ladder I call addiction. Then I moved on to cocaine and in between weed and cocaine there was acid and shrooms. I must add: I always justified what I was doing by saying at least I'm not doing meth or heroin. After a few years of doing cocaine, one day I was hanging out with “using friends.” They were doing heroin and asked if I wanted to try it, and I said sure. From that day on I would do heroin every day for about three years.
I didn't want to work because all I was worried about was getting high all the time. My relationship at the time and my family relationships became very strained. I would go on the next few years using, losing jobs, lying, manipulating, stealing and only caring about myself. Eventually my addiction landed me in jail. I ended up getting clean before I started drug court. I did very well in drug court for quite a while. I attended meetings and groups regularly. I made it to step three of the program and then I hit a wall. I started using again, and eventually I went to jail again.
I used up to the day I went to jail. I was given a sentence of thirty days county time. My parents took me to court the day I had to turn myself in. Little did I know this is the last time I would ever see my father alive. I was about a week and a half away from getting out and I had got a visit. I walked up to the visiting room and saw that it was my mother and brother there. I knew something was off because my brother was not on my visiting list. I talked to my mother for a few minutes and then she said my brother had something to tell me. My brother sat down and told me we had lost our dad. I didn't know how to take it. It was the last thing I ever expected to hear. Because of my addiction I wasn't able to attend my father's funeral.
After getting out of jail, I moved back to my mother’s. Things were hard for her and I and my brother and sisters. I didn’t know how to deal with the loss of my father so I did what addicts do and started to use again so I didn't have to feel. I used for a while till I went to detox. Detox did not work for me it was just a break. I had plans to use the whole time I was there. Soon after detox, I started using again. I had no job so I stole and manipulated to get high. I put my family through hell with my addiction.
I went to New Vision™, then to rehab again and actually took it serious this time and worked on myself. I was going to be a father again at this time also. I was in rehab for almost thirty days. My son Noah was born while I was there. Once again my disease caused me to miss out on important things in life. I knew Noah would be born while I was there but this time I had a different attitude about recovery.
I told myself that this is what I have to do and I am no good to anybody if I'm using. Since I have been clean my life has changed so much. I have met lots of great people and I have tons of support. The help is always there if you want it. There is nothing I would not do to stay clean and sober today. I attend groups and try to help those still suffering as much as I can. I feel that helping others with what I have been through is my calling and it works for me. Never can I forget who I am where I have come from and how far I have come. The moment I forget all those things, I am reminded of the pain and suffering I caused to self and others.
Recovery is possible and I'm living proof. I thank God that I still have my family in my life after all the horrible things I put them through. They never turned their backs on me. They are my rock and I'm grateful for that every day. I'm grateful that God has put all the people in my life today that help me. Without them I don't know where I would be. I feel like I'm finally free. I hope people that read this will get some hope out of it. There is life after addiction. When that day comes God will give me strength for that day. Thank you for reading. I'm Adam and I'm a addict. Take it from me, drugs suck.
Disclaimer: this is an excerpt condensed from content. The entire document was written and provided by the client.